Having good memories of the person who died are important to us. They are the way that we can still feel connected and close to them. As we grieve though, we can feel worried that we will not be able to remember them. We  also worry that because we are finding it hard to remember them this means that we no longer love them. This is not true- but we need to understand how our memory works

How memory works:

Our brains are amazing  and can store lots of different memories. It stores them in different ways a little bit like the way we store files in a computer or filing cabinet but often our brain needs help to find those memories again easily.

Our brain needs helpful reminders such as clues about as smells, colours, pictures, textures, and sounds to be able to find the memories again. The more we talk and think about that memory the stronger it gets and is easier to bring back. Making memory boxes and  and memory books can help us on our sad days when we want to remember the person who died and feel close to them again.

Memory boxes

Why not collect together things that belonged to the person who died – here are some ideas:

• their favourite aftershave or perfume
• jewellery
• small items of clothing
• glasses
• passport
• holiday tickets

Memory books

This is like the memory box but tells you about the person from when they were small to the time they died.

Collect together photographs, certificates, letters, newspaper cuttings- you can ask other members of the family to give you their memories of them. Perhaps they knew them when they were at school, were best friends or worked with them. They may have interesting stories to tell that help you remember more about your important person.

Don’t forget to include the funny things they did – even their jokes !

Why not visit http://foryoungpeople.winstonswish.org.uk/ for more great ideas?