Looking after you

Grief and you

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Many parents and carers can neglect their own needs after a bereavement. This can be understandable- there is much to do, many people to support and often there are financial difficulties especially if the death was sudden. You may also be coping with the formalities of postmortems and inquests etc.,.

You may feel that you are juggling so much that the last thing you need is time to connect with your grief fearing that this will make you unable to continue supporting others. You may also feel that other people’s needs are greater than yours- especially your children.You may have worries about how this will affect them in the future and are working hard to make things better for them. It can seem selfish to think about you and what you need.

Whilst this is understandable it is not usually helpful in the long-run, for you or them. It can add to their worries as they see you struggle and it can send unhelpful messages about who is allowed to grieve.

They often make the mistake of thinking that people that they do not see grieving like them either is not grieving or does not care about the person who died. Likewise if someone is overwhelmed in their grief this can be scary for children and young people- they need to be reassured that parents and carers have good support around them too.

Children and young people need to talk about what has happened and how they are feeling, they worry that this is going to make things worse for you and so hide their feelings and worries.

You will find much on this website that will help your young people but it may also be helpful to you, however,  getting good support for yourself in your difficulties can help them more than you might think!

For adult help in North Hertfordshire contactwww.cruse-hertfordshire.org.uk or discuss your needs with your GP.

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