Later on

When the death happened more than a year ago…..    

Even though the death of your significant person happened more than a year ago you may still be grieving for them. The feelings may not be as strong as when they first died but they can make you feel worried that you are doing something wrong or that this should not be happening to you.

It is normal for grief to last several years for some people. For others, it is only after the first or second anniversary that the death become real and their feelings of grief come to the surface. Then it might feel that you are right back at the beginning.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve- just your way. Our thoughts and feeling change as we grieve. Over time it becomes easier to remember the person who died and the feelings are less painful or intense but it can be hard to be patient.

However long it has been since the person you cared about died you may find all of the pages on this website helpful. New situations and changes such as moving school or house, exams, changes in the family or friends and hearing about someone else who has died can remind us of what has happened and cause us to feel our grief again.

You will always remember the person who died and it is normal to feel your grief at times for several years after they have died. Unlike when it first happened though it will not feel as if it is overwhelming you and there all of the time -you might have days and weeks without thinking of them until something reminds you of them.

Signs that you are still grieving can be:

  • thinking of them suddenly for no reason and feeling very sad for a time
  • having dreams about them when they feel as if they are alive again
  • thinking about them a lot and wanting to know more about what happened to them
  • having nightmares about what happened
  • having days when you feel sad, angry,  confused or very anxious and wish they were still here

What can help…                                

  • talking to someone close about how you are feeling
  • finding out more about why your body behaves when you are anxious. angry or confused
  • writing poems or letters about the person
  • making a memory book or something to remind you of them
  • listening to music or doing something that reminds you of them
  • drawing or writing about how you feel
  • looking at the memory box to feel close to the person
  • making a ‘first aid’ kit of things to do that make you feel better
  • make something to remind you of all the people that you still have who care and support you- family, friends, teachers, youth workers
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