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When someone dies, we find it hard to understand the feelings and emotions that happen to us. This is called grief.

Are my feelings Normal? …. YES!

Sometimes when someone we love, or is close, to us dies unexpectedly we cannot believe that it has happened. We are in a state of shock. Our bodies sometimes react to the news by behaving in strange ways.

  • Maybe our legs go like jelly, or our stomachs feel like we have giant butterflies moving around inside.
  • We may feel faint, sick or feel shaky.
  • We may feel dizzy or want to cry, or even scream.
  • Sometimes we feel really angry and do not know why.
  • We may not want to believe that it has happened.

Take a look at our “When Someone you Love Dies” guide, which is full of helpful advice and tips.

How can Stand-by-me help you?

For many young people, grief can feel very lonely. You may wonder whether you are the only one to have these feelings or think that no one else will understand.

Stand-by-me offer a groupwork programme designed to address these needs. This is your chance to meet up with others who have had similar experiences to you and learn how to manage your grief.

If you are 15 or under, please speak with a parent, carer, guardian or teacher and let them know you would like to be referred into Stand-by-me for Bereavement Support. For more information Contact us.

What’s it like in a group?

We know that joining a new group can feel daunting, but Stand-by-me groups are really friendly, safe places to meet other children and young people who have had similar experiences.

Stand-by-me Group

Stand-by-me Group

How can my school help?

As you spend over 30% of your weekly awake time at school it is important that the adults around you know what is happening. Let them know what has happened and tell them how you feel. Most schools in North Herts and Stevenage have signed up to our Contact-me school programme, if your school has joined, they will know how to support you …. You just need to ask.

Who Else Can Help?


The Sandbox is an NHS-funded service to support children and young people in Hertfordshire and  South Staffordshire with their mental health and well-being.  Sandbox

General WellbeingMental Health

Hope Again

Hope Again is the youth website of Cruse Bereavement Care. It is a safe place where you can learn from other young people, how to cope…

Grief and Bereavement

Help 2 Make Sense

UK’s leading charity fighting for children and young people’s mental health. Help 2 Make Sense Website

Mental Health

Young Minds

UK’s leading charity fighting for children and young people’s mental health. Young Minds Website

Mental Health

Apart of me

Apart of Me is a game designed to help you cope with the death of a loved one. Based on psychological research, the app provides a safe virtual space…

Grief and Bereavement

Anxiety UK

Anxiety UK is a dedicated, friendly and approachable charity that believes that anxiety, stress and anxiety-based depression are treatable and manageable. It offers a range of…

Mental Health


The national charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide. If you are having thoughts of suicide or are concerned for a young person who might…



A free, private and confidential service where you can talk about    anything. Whatever your worry, whenever you need help, Childline are there online and on…


Smiles and Tears

An interactive tool to record memories, send gifts and write thoughts, feelings and emotions. Also includes tips on how to manage emotions such as anger, confusion,…

Grief and Bereavement
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For Urgent Help If you are a bereaved young person experiencing a crisis, the Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger text service offers free, 24/7 support: Text WW to 85258 (available 24/7)