Mia’s Story

My dad died unexpectedly the day before my 14th birthday. I had never experienced bereavement before and had no idea how to navigate through the grief I was experiencing. Being the oldest of five and seeing my Mum lose the father of her children and her best friend was something I don’t think I can ever put into words. As a family we needed support. Thankfully we learnt about Stand-by-me and, at different points in mine and my siblings’ grief journey, we attended the group sessions the charity provides.

There have been lots of ups and downs, but I have learnt so much and achieved so much thanks to Stand-by-me. I attended group sessions in 2017 where I started to learn what grief was. For me recognising I wasn’t alone and that there was support out there at a time when I felt my whole world had fallen apart and I couldn’t see what, a life without my dad, looked like was the most profound lesson. I wanted to help others realise they weren’t alone and that they can and will feel happy again and so became a Lead Young Ambassador where I worked alongside young, bereaved children and helped organise activities, fundraisers, ways to raise awareness etc. Some things I’ve done are speaking at a Rotary event to help raise awareness about the importance of bereavement support, organising a Christmas party for all those who have attended the charity, speaking for a BBC Children in Need video in 2020 about the effects of lockdown on the mental health of young people, filming and featuring in videos helping others understand what coming to Stand-by-me is like. One of my biggest missions was to implement the ‘Contact-me’ programme in my secondary school as I knew how important it is to have specialised support for bereavement in schools.

In March 2022 I was honoured to receive the North Herts Council Young Star Award for my volunteering.

I am now a Group Mentor which involves attending the groups to work alongside the young people during their sessions to listen, to guide and show them the power of recognising your grief. In what was the hardest, darkest, and loneliest time of my life I have discovered sparks of joy which keep the fire and desire within me alive as I continue to help others like me but also help others who don’t quite understand.

Now I’m not saying it’s easy or “Look at me and all these things I’ve done”. It’s about recognising what is out there and what is possible because I felt lost, broken, and scared. Grief will always be a part of you, but it doesn’t have to define you. Your loved ones want you to continue to grow and live your life you just have to figure out what works for you and how to manage your grief. Don’t worry about what others are doing because each of us has different timings and responses to things.

I had to accept that I couldn’t do everything myself and that I had to ask for help.

“Stand-by-me are an amazing charity who support you when and where you need it and are always there.”